Consider yourself lucky, Republicans. While the Democratic conventioneers were forced to cram into smelly taxis and eat at pretentious, overpriced New York bistros, in Houston you get authentic regional character-at a decent price. It's usually sweltering by noon, so sneak away early for sightseeing. n your busy day outside town at Big Thicket National Preserve or Brazos Bend State Park, nicknamed "Gator Park" because that's where you can often see dozens of toothy reptiles (the kind that aren't running for office). Don't panic when you head back to town: the streets are empty because everyone's underground in the city's air-conditioned tunnel system, which lets people go from building to building without melting.
If you prefer to stay within the city limits, there's always The Menil Collection, Houston's finest art museum. The collection features everything from Warhol to obscure tribal art. It's the place to find the city's thriving art community-- and it's free. On TV, try to catch rug-wearing news "reporter" Marvin Zindler, known for ranting about restaurant health-code violations. Sample: "There was sliiiime in the ice machine!"
Ah, lunchtime. The choices are many, but by all means go for ethnic fare. Van Loc offers cheap and inventive Vietnamese food, topped off with potent French coffee. Ultimately, though, Houston is about Mexican eats. Locals adore the original Ninfa's. But self-proclaimed local boy George Bush prefers Molina's, another local favorite. For a different Latin American flavor, there's Churrascos, where you absolutely must dip your plantain chips into the pestolike chimmichurri sauce.
Later, after the speeches, keep that patriotic buzz going with a Margarita at Shanghai Red's, where you might see ships turn around in the Houston Ship Channel. Or perhaps the cowboy in you might prefer a Lone Star longneck at the Luling City Market, near the bustling Galleria area. (Tip: fork over a buck for a handful of five-alarm jalapenos.) You could stay there for some great barbecued brisket, although the prez usually goes to Otto's for pork ribs. Unless you're intent on seeing Georgette Mosbacher and other local muckety-mucks, don't throw away your money on one of the town's most overrated-and expensive--glitztaurants, Tony's. If you truly need a power meal, have a member take you to the exclusive River Oaks Country Club. Otherwise, get some killer steaks at The Hofbrau, whose walls are festooned with deer, a wild Texas boar and a giant sea turtle with light bulbs on its flippers. It's still pretty steamy at night, so dessert should definitely include some Blue Bell Ice Cream, a Texas institution. Try the cookies 'n' cream.
Now for night-crawling elephants comes the serious fun. If you can do without air conditioning and martinis, throw on some jeans and visit one of the area's Ice houses: garage-type rooms often featuring only a dart board, some lawn chairs and a fridge full of longnecks. The atmosphere can be a tad rough, but most places will welcome you anyway. Gay Republicans might visit Rich's, one of the city's most popular gay bars. And Republicans of all sexual orientations are welcome at Houston's most memorable club, Power Tools-welcome, that is, if they're into its popular and campy S&M show. Once you leave this place, it's time to go to sleep. Now, more than ever, your leader needs you rested, alert and primed for battle.
Uncommon Knowledge
Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.
Newsweek is committed to challenging conventional wisdom and finding connections in the search for common ground.
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